Mattering

Tiny Moments Matter: Lessons from Zach Mercurio

In this episode of Meaningful Work Matters, host Andrew sits down with Zach Mercurio, a researcher and expert in the psychology of mattering at work. As a Research and Teaching Fellow in Colorado State University's Department of Psychology's Center for Meaning and Purpose, Mercurio brings both academic rigor and practical wisdom to the conversation, drawn from his extensive work with organizations worldwide.

What makes Mercurio's work particularly valuable is his unique position as a "pracademic" – someone who bridges the gap between research and real-world application.

His insights come not just from theoretical understanding, but from hands-on experience helping organizations like American Express, the U.S. Army, and Delta Airlines create cultures where people feel truly significant.

The Mattering Instinct: A Survival Need

At the heart of Mercurio's research is a profound truth about human nature: mattering is an instinct as basic as survival itself. He shares a touching personal story about the moment his first son was born, watching as the newborn reached up and grasped his finger with surprising strength. Scientists call this the grasp reflex, one of several innate behaviors that newborns exhibit from their first moments of life. As Mercurio explains,

"The first thing we do as human beings is search to matter to someone enough to keep us alive... You would not be listening to this podcast if at some point in your life you did not procure mattering to another person enough to keep you alive."

This primitive survival instinct evolves throughout our lives into a sophisticated psychological need. We develop an ongoing desire to be cared for, seen, and heard by others. We seek validation that we are valued members of our communities and that our presence makes a difference. This evolution from basic survival instinct to complex psychological need helps explain why feeling significant becomes so crucial in our work lives – it's woven into the very fabric of our human experience.

Understanding Mattering in Practice

Mercurio's research reveals three essential components that leaders must address to create a culture of mattering:

1. Feeling Noticed

Being noticed goes beyond simple recognition. As Mercurio explains, "I can know you, but not notice that you're suffering." True noticing requires deliberate attention to the ebbs and flows of people's lives and responding with meaningful action.

One leader Mercurio studied kept a simple notebook where she wrote down personal details about team members' lives each Friday, reviewing it Monday morning to check in on specific concerns or life events. This practice led to exceptional team engagement and loyalty.

2. Feeling Affirmed

Mercurio distinguishes between three important concepts:

  • Appreciation: Showing gratitude for who someone is

  • Recognition: Acknowledging what someone does

  • Affirmation: Showing specific evidence of someone's unique significance

3. Feeling Needed

When people feel replaceable, they tend to act replaceable. Mercurio shares that some of the most powerful words a leader can say are: "If it wasn't for you, this wouldn't be possible."

The Dark Side: Anti-Mattering

While much attention is paid to the positive effects of mattering, Mercurio also explores its shadow side through the concept of "anti-mattering" – the experience of feeling invisible or insignificant. This phenomenon, studied by researcher Gordon Flett at York University, carries as powerful a charge as mattering itself, but in the opposite direction. Like antimatter in physics, which possesses an inverse powerful charge to matter, the experience of anti-mattering can have profound negative effects on individuals and organizations.

When people don't feel they matter, their responses typically manifest in one of two ways. Some individuals retreat into withdrawal, choosing to isolate themselves, withhold their contributions, or ultimately leave their organizations entirely. This withdrawal can be seen as a form of self-protection – if one's contributions aren't valued, why continue to offer them?

Others respond to anti-mattering through what Mercurio calls "acts of desperation." These individuals might engage in complaining, blaming, or gossiping – behaviors that Mercurio suggests are often misinterpreted as personality problems rather than symptoms of a deeper organizational issue. He points to research showing that workplace gossip, for instance, is frequently predicted by psychological contract violations, such as lack of fair treatment or respect from supervisors.

"If I don't matter to someone else," Mercurio explains, "I'm going to find somebody who will listen to me."

This understanding of anti-mattering challenges leaders to look beyond surface-level behavioral issues. Instead of asking "What's wrong with this person?" Mercurio encourages leaders to ask, "What's wrong with the environment?" Often, he notes, the employees labeled as "difficult" are actually the ones feeling most unseen and undervalued in the organization.

Creating a Culture of Mattering

Mercurio emphasizes that mattering isn't just about individual leadership behaviors – it's a systems issue that requires organizational commitment.

He shares the success story of American Express Global Business Travel, which saw a 50% reduction in attrition over eight months after implementing a comprehensive mattering initiative.

Key organizational strategies include:

Making Mattering Behaviors Possible
  • Creating time and space for human connection
  • Removing barriers to meaningful interaction
  • Building systems that support relationship-building
Making Mattering Behaviors Inevitable
  • Training leaders in specific mattering practices
  • Measuring and evaluating mattering behaviors
  • Creating accountability for fostering significance

Making Mattering Behaviors Possible

  • Creating time and space for human connection

  • Removing barriers to meaningful interaction

  • Building systems that support relationship-building

Making Mattering Behaviors Inevitable

  • Training leaders in specific mattering practices

  • Measuring and evaluating mattering behaviors

  • Creating accountability for fostering significance

Practical Applications for Leaders

Mercurio offers several concrete practices leaders can implement immediately:

  • Practice Intentional Noticing

    • Keep notes about team members' personal situations

    • Follow up on previous conversations

    • Pay attention to changes in behavior or engagement

  • Provide Specific Affirmation

    • Move beyond generic praise

    • Connect individual actions to meaningful impact

    • Highlight unique contributions

  • Demonstrate Essential Value

    • Clearly communicate how each person is relied upon

    • Share specific examples of indispensable contributions

    • Use language that reinforces necessity: "Because of you..."

Connections to Broader Social Movements

Mercurio draws fascinating parallels between the concept of mattering and recent workplace phenomena. He notes that both the Great Resignation and Quiet Quitting can be understood through the lens of mattering - or more precisely, its absence.

In August 2023, more workers went on strike than at any point in the 21st century, which Mercurio sees as "mattering in disguise" - a collective expression of feeling unseen and undervalued.

These movements reflect what Mercurio calls "the language of the unheard," reminding us of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s observation that "protest is the language of the unheard." This perspective helps reframe workplace challenges not as individual behavioral issues, but as systemic responses to environments where people don't feel significant.

Future Directions: The Evolution of Mattering

Looking ahead, Mercurio sees mattering becoming increasingly crucial as workplace choice expands.

His upcoming book, "The Power of Mattering: How Leaders Can Create a Culture of Significance" (May 2025), promises to provide a comprehensive framework for building organizations where everyone feels significant.

The book will explore how leaders can scale mattering practices across entire organizations, making them part of the cultural DNA rather than isolated initiatives.

Key Takeaways

  1. Mattering is not just a psychological need but a survival instinct that evolves throughout our lives

  2. Anti-mattering manifests in predictable ways - either through withdrawal or desperate attempts to be seen

  3. Creating cultures of mattering requires systematic approaches, not just individual leadership behaviors

  4. Simple practices like intentional noticing and specific affirmation can have profound impacts on people's sense of significance

Final Thoughts

In a world where 30% of workers feel invisible and 65% feel under-appreciated, Mercurio's research offers hope and practical direction. By understanding mattering as a fundamental human need and implementing systematic approaches to foster it, leaders can create environments where people thrive, contribute meaningfully, and feel truly significant.

As Mercurio powerfully concludes:

"It's very difficult for anything to matter to someone who doesn't first believe that they matter."

Resources for Further Exploration