Eudaimonic by Design

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Tiny Moments Matter: Lessons from Zach Mercurio

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In this episode of Meaningful Work Matters, host Andrew sits down with Zach Mercurio, a researcher and expert in the psychology of mattering at work. As a Research and Teaching Fellow in Colorado State University's Department of Psychology's Center for Meaning and Purpose, Mercurio brings both academic rigor and practical wisdom to the conversation, drawn from his extensive work with organizations worldwide.

What makes Mercurio's work particularly valuable is his unique position as a "pracademic" – someone who bridges the gap between research and real-world application.

His insights come not just from theoretical understanding, but from hands-on experience helping organizations like American Express, the U.S. Army, and Delta Airlines create cultures where people feel truly significant.

The Mattering Instinct: A Survival Need

At the heart of Mercurio's research is a profound truth about human nature: mattering is an instinct as basic as survival itself. He shares a touching personal story about the moment his first son was born, watching as the newborn reached up and grasped his finger with surprising strength. Scientists call this the grasp reflex, one of several innate behaviors that newborns exhibit from their first moments of life. As Mercurio explains,

"The first thing we do as human beings is search to matter to someone enough to keep us alive... You would not be listening to this podcast if at some point in your life you did not procure mattering to another person enough to keep you alive."

This primitive survival instinct evolves throughout our lives into a sophisticated psychological need. We develop an ongoing desire to be cared for, seen, and heard by others. We seek validation that we are valued members of our communities and that our presence makes a difference. This evolution from basic survival instinct to complex psychological need helps explain why feeling significant becomes so crucial in our work lives – it's woven into the very fabric of our human experience.

Understanding Mattering in Practice

Mercurio's research reveals three essential components that leaders must address to create a culture of mattering:

1. Feeling Noticed

Being noticed goes beyond simple recognition. As Mercurio explains, "I can know you, but not notice that you're suffering." True noticing requires deliberate attention to the ebbs and flows of people's lives and responding with meaningful action.

One leader Mercurio studied kept a simple notebook where she wrote down personal details about team members' lives each Friday, reviewing it Monday morning to check in on specific concerns or life events. This practice led to exceptional team engagement and loyalty.

2. Feeling Affirmed

Mercurio distinguishes between three important concepts:

  • Appreciation: Showing gratitude for who someone is

  • Recognition: Acknowledging what someone does

  • Affirmation: Showing specific evidence of someone's unique significance

3. Feeling Needed

When people feel replaceable, they tend to act replaceable. Mercurio shares that some of the most powerful words a leader can say are: "If it wasn't for you, this wouldn't be possible."

The Dark Side: Anti-Mattering

While much attention is paid to the positive effects of mattering, Mercurio also explores its shadow side through the concept of "anti-mattering" – the experience of feeling invisible or insignificant. This phenomenon, studied by researcher Gordon Flett at York University, carries as powerful a charge as mattering itself, but in the opposite direction. Like antimatter in physics, which possesses an inverse powerful charge to matter, the experience of anti-mattering can have profound negative effects on individuals and organizations.

When people don't feel they matter, their responses typically manifest in one of two ways. Some individuals retreat into withdrawal, choosing to isolate themselves, withhold their contributions, or ultimately leave their organizations entirely. This withdrawal can be seen as a form of self-protection – if one's contributions aren't valued, why continue to offer them?

Others respond to anti-mattering through what Mercurio calls "acts of desperation." These individuals might engage in complaining, blaming, or gossiping – behaviors that Mercurio suggests are often misinterpreted as personality problems rather than symptoms of a deeper organizational issue. He points to research showing that workplace gossip, for instance, is frequently predicted by psychological contract violations, such as lack of fair treatment or respect from supervisors.

"If I don't matter to someone else," Mercurio explains, "I'm going to find somebody who will listen to me."

This understanding of anti-mattering challenges leaders to look beyond surface-level behavioral issues. Instead of asking "What's wrong with this person?" Mercurio encourages leaders to ask, "What's wrong with the environment?" Often, he notes, the employees labeled as "difficult" are actually the ones feeling most unseen and undervalued in the organization.

Creating a Culture of Mattering

Mercurio emphasizes that mattering isn't just about individual leadership behaviors – it's a systems issue that requires organizational commitment.

He shares the success story of American Express Global Business Travel, which saw a 50% reduction in attrition over eight months after implementing a comprehensive mattering initiative.

Key organizational strategies include:

Making Mattering Behaviors Possible
  • Creating time and space for human connection
  • Removing barriers to meaningful interaction
  • Building systems that support relationship-building
Making Mattering Behaviors Inevitable
  • Training leaders in specific mattering practices
  • Measuring and evaluating mattering behaviors
  • Creating accountability for fostering significance

Making Mattering Behaviors Possible

  • Creating time and space for human connection

  • Removing barriers to meaningful interaction

  • Building systems that support relationship-building

Making Mattering Behaviors Inevitable

  • Training leaders in specific mattering practices

  • Measuring and evaluating mattering behaviors

  • Creating accountability for fostering significance

Practical Applications for Leaders

Mercurio offers several concrete practices leaders can implement immediately:

  • Practice Intentional Noticing

    • Keep notes about team members' personal situations

    • Follow up on previous conversations

    • Pay attention to changes in behavior or engagement

  • Provide Specific Affirmation

    • Move beyond generic praise

    • Connect individual actions to meaningful impact

    • Highlight unique contributions

  • Demonstrate Essential Value

    • Clearly communicate how each person is relied upon

    • Share specific examples of indispensable contributions

    • Use language that reinforces necessity: "Because of you..."

Connections to Broader Social Movements

Mercurio draws fascinating parallels between the concept of mattering and recent workplace phenomena. He notes that both the Great Resignation and Quiet Quitting can be understood through the lens of mattering - or more precisely, its absence.

In August 2023, more workers went on strike than at any point in the 21st century, which Mercurio sees as "mattering in disguise" - a collective expression of feeling unseen and undervalued.

These movements reflect what Mercurio calls "the language of the unheard," reminding us of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s observation that "protest is the language of the unheard." This perspective helps reframe workplace challenges not as individual behavioral issues, but as systemic responses to environments where people don't feel significant.

Future Directions: The Evolution of Mattering

Looking ahead, Mercurio sees mattering becoming increasingly crucial as workplace choice expands.

His upcoming book, "The Power of Mattering: How Leaders Can Create a Culture of Significance" (May 2025), promises to provide a comprehensive framework for building organizations where everyone feels significant.

The book will explore how leaders can scale mattering practices across entire organizations, making them part of the cultural DNA rather than isolated initiatives.

Key Takeaways

  1. Mattering is not just a psychological need but a survival instinct that evolves throughout our lives

  2. Anti-mattering manifests in predictable ways - either through withdrawal or desperate attempts to be seen

  3. Creating cultures of mattering requires systematic approaches, not just individual leadership behaviors

  4. Simple practices like intentional noticing and specific affirmation can have profound impacts on people's sense of significance

Final Thoughts

In a world where 30% of workers feel invisible and 65% feel under-appreciated, Mercurio's research offers hope and practical direction. By understanding mattering as a fundamental human need and implementing systematic approaches to foster it, leaders can create environments where people thrive, contribute meaningfully, and feel truly significant.

As Mercurio powerfully concludes:

"It's very difficult for anything to matter to someone who doesn't first believe that they matter."

Resources for Further Exploration

Work Devotion, Identity Armor, and The Myth of Agency: Lessons from Carrie Oelberger

When we think about meaningful work, we often focus on its benefits - greater engagement, improved performance, and enhanced well-being. But what happens when work becomes too meaningful?

In this episode of Meaningful Work Matters, Andrew speaks with Carrie Oelberger, Associate Professor at the University of Minnesota's Humphrey School of Public Affairs and McKnight Land Grant Professor, about the complexities and potential pitfalls of deeply meaningful work.

After spending a decade working in grassroots education development in Tanzania, Dr. Oelberger earned her PhD in Organization Studies from Stanford University. Now, she bridges theory and practice by consulting with philanthropic foundations and prosocial organizations while conducting groundbreaking research on meaningful work.

Understanding the Paths to Meaningful Work

Oelberger begins by introducing two distinct paths through which work becomes meaningful: self-actualization and self-transcendence.

Self-actualization focuses on personal growth and development, while self-transcendence involves contributing to something larger than ourselves.

"Ever since I was a teenager, I was interested in trying to leave the world a slightly better place than I found it, even in small, little, micro ways."

While both paths can lead to meaningful work, Oelberger's research suggests that when both are present, work can become particularly meaningful – and potentially problematic.

The Myth of "One Size Fits All"

A key insight from Oelberger's research is that there's no universal formula for meaningful work.

Her studies have identified several key factors that influence how individuals experience meaning:

  • Intrinsic factors (learning, personal growth)

  • Extrinsic factors (rewards, benefits)

  • Relational factors (working with others)

  • Pro-social factors (impact on others)

Surprisingly, even in nonprofit and social impact sectors, pro-social motivations often rank third or fourth in importance, after intrinsic and extrinsic factors.

This challenges the common assumption that everyone in these sectors is primarily motivated by altruism.

The Dark Side: Boundary Inhibition

Perhaps the most striking finding from Oelberger's research is the concept of "boundary inhibition" – where meaningful work can actually erode personal relationships and well-being.

This manifests in three key ways:

Time-based conflict:

When individuals voluntarily spend excessive time at work, leaving less time for personal relationships and activities.

Trust-based conflict:

When work devotion leads to unreliability in personal commitments.

Connection-based conflict:

When emotional investment in work creates disconnection in personal relationships.

Interestingly, these conflicts are often less problematic when both partners in a relationship share similar levels of work devotion – what Oelberger terms "occupational value homophily".

The Identity Armor Effect

Oelberger's latest research reveals another fascinating phenomenon: how meaningful work can become a form of "identity armor," particularly among single individuals in demanding fields like international aid.

When work becomes central to one's identity, the prospect of scaling back – even to pursue desired personal goals like finding a partner – can trigger an existential crisis.

Intersectional Impact: When Identity Shapes Experience

Oelberger's research reveals that the challenges of meaningful work are not experienced uniformly across different identities and contexts.

This is particularly evident in international aid work, where personal and professional trade-offs can vary significantly based on gender, sexual orientation, and cultural context.

"Women were five times more likely to be single than men... and it was really uncommon for queer folks to be partnered and doing this work."

The stark trade-offs between meaningful work and personal relationships are especially pronounced for certain groups:

Women often face greater challenges finding partners willing to take supporting roles in their careers.
LGBTQ+ individuals navigate additional complexities in locations where being out is unsafe.
Women tend to make career alterations approximately 15 years younger than men, with significant implications for long-term career trajectory.

These findings highlight how structural inequalities intersect with meaningful work, making decisions about career and personal life particularly challenging for marginalized groups.

As Oelberger notes, even the emotional experience of decision-making becomes more stressful for these individuals, as they must constantly weigh competing personal and professional priorities against additional cultural and safety considerations.

Practical Applications and Implications

For organizational leaders, especially in nonprofit and social impact sectors, Oelberger's research suggests several important considerations:

  • Recognize that employee motivations are diverse and dynamic

  • Model healthy work boundaries

  • Challenge the "martyr complex" that can develop in mission-driven work

Looking Forward…

The conversation with Dr. Oelberger reminds us that while meaningful work is valuable, it shouldn't come at the expense of personal well-being and relationships.

As she notes, "It shouldn't have to be a choice."

Organizations and individuals must work together to create sustainable approaches to meaningful work that honor both professional purpose and personal flourishing.

In part one of our conversation with Dr. Carrie Oelberger (above), we explored how meaningful work can become a double-edged sword, particularly when work devotion becomes "identity armor."

In part two, we dive deeper into another critical paradox: the myth of agency in meaningful work, and how it affects both workers and organizations.

Understanding the Myth of Agency

Oelberger introduces a powerful concept that challenges common assumptions about meaningful work: the myth of agency, which she defines as "the false cultural idea that an individual can fully overcome structural and institutional barriers through strategic individual behaviors."

This myth is particularly prevalent in caring professions and social impact work, where individuals often enter with high hopes of creating significant change, only to encounter systemic barriers that individual effort alone cannot overcome.

Three Approaches to Frontline Work

Through her research, Oelberger has identified three distinct approaches that workers take when facing structural challenges:

State Agents
("The Processors")
Citizen Agents
("The Fixers")
Human Accompaniment
("The Companions")
How They See Themselves As bureaucrats As advocates for clients As partners with shared limits
How They Work with Clients Often blame clients for lack of progress Strongly push for clients' needs Build meaningful, compassionate relationships
Longevity and Experience Stay despite feeling burnt out or apathetic Often leave quickly to make bigger changes Stay long-term without burning out

The Power of Human Accompaniment

Perhaps the most inspiring finding from Oelberger's research is the effectiveness of the human accompaniment approach. As she explains:

"These people don't burn out, they don't leave... When you ask these people how they feel about their work, they're like, 'I feel great about my work. I feel so lucky to be doing this. I'm so inspired by my clients.'"

Rethinking Selection and Training

Oelberger challenges traditional hiring practices, particularly the emphasis on formal education for roles where lived experience and emotional intelligence might be more valuable. She advocates for:

  • Identifying actual skills needed for positions

  • Looking beyond formal qualifications

  • Recognizing the value of lived experience

  • Being open to alternative forms of expertise

"I say this as somebody with a PhD who teaches masters and PhD students," Oelberger notes. "Sometimes we require qualifications for positions that not only don't require those qualifications, but in some ways, they can make you worse at doing your job."

Building Systemic Support for Meaningful Work

The conversation culminates in a discussion of how different countries approach work support systems. Oelberger shares an illuminating example of a European aid worker who received a year of parental leave with a replacement hire - a stark contrast to American expectations.

This points to a broader need for policy-level changes that can support meaningful work, including:

  • Universal healthcare access

  • Comprehensive parental leave policies

  • Education debt relief

  • Workplace protection policies

  • Social welfare benefits

As Oelberger puts it: "If society can build the boat, then we have more time to play with the sail."

Looking Forward…

This conversation with Dr. Oelberger highlights the need for a more nuanced understanding of meaningful work - one that acknowledges both individual agency and structural constraints. It suggests that creating truly sustainable meaningful work requires action at multiple levels:

  • Societal: Policy changes that provide basic security and support

  • Organizational: Rethinking hiring practices and work structure

  • Individual: Embracing approaches like human accompaniment that recognize both limitations and possibilities

The path forward isn't about trying harder within broken systems, but rather about reimagining how we support and structure meaningful work at every level.

Recommended Reading

  • Dr. Carrie Oleberger’s published work - link

  • Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Understanding the burnout experience: recent research and its implications for psychiatry. World psychiatry : official journal of the World Psychiatric Association (WPA), 15(2), 103–111. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20311

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Redefining Purpose as Everyday Direction: Lessons from Patrick Hill

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In this episode of Meaningful Work Matters, host Andrew Soren sits down with Patrick Hill, a professor of psychological and brain sciences at Washington University in St. Louis. Hill's research focuses on purpose and identity development, and he offers a fresh perspectives on what it means to live a purposeful life.

Hill received his PhD from the University of Notre Dame and his BA from Indiana University. His research program examines how to cultivate a life direction and how purpose promotes adaptive lifespan development.

Hill's work challenges traditional notions of purpose; presenting it not as a lofty, unattainable goal, but as something adaptable, accessible, and actionable in our everyday lives. His insights shed light on the role of purpose in well-being, personal growth, and even physical health, often in unexpected ways.

Redefining Purpose

To start, Hill introduces a nuanced understanding of purpose, breaking it down into three key elements:

  1. Self-defining: Purpose should be personally attached and definitive.

  2. Engaging and energizing: It should lead to greater life engagement and personal agency.

  3. Future-oriented: Purpose provides direction and intentionality.

Hill emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between "big P" Purpose - often seen as world-changing and potentially anxiety-inducing - and "small p" purpose, which focuses on everyday actions that provide direction and lead to positive outcomes. This shift in perspective makes purpose more accessible and actionable for individuals in their daily lives.

"Purpose is this self-defining, self-informative life aim that gives you a direction towards engagement in life from one day to the next, one year to the next throughout the lifespan."

The Three A's of Purpose

Hill introduces the concept of purpose being adaptable, accessible, and actionable:

  • Adaptable: Purpose should evolve with an individual's life circumstances.

  • Accessible: It should be attainable for everyone, not just a privileged few.

  • Actionable: Purpose should guide daily decisions and behaviors.

This framework helps demystify purpose and makes it more approachable for individuals who might feel overwhelmed by traditional, lofty notions of purpose.

Challenges and Considerations

One significant challenge Hill addresses is "purpose anxiety" - the stress and pressure individuals feel when asked to define their life's purpose. This anxiety can be particularly prevalent in workplace settings where employees are asked to align with organizational purpose statements.

Hill suggests that instead of focusing on grand, overarching purposes, individuals and organizations should concentrate on identifying smaller, more immediate sources of meaning and direction. This approach can help alleviate anxiety and make purpose more accessible to everyone.

Hill's Model: Sense of Purpose

Dr. Hill's research emphasizes the importance of fostering a "sense of purpose" rather than identifying a single, grand purpose. This model focuses on:

  1. Feeling a sense of direction

  2. Having goals that provide personal definition

  3. Engaging in activities that energize and feel meaningful

This approach has been linked to various positive outcomes, including reduced risk of cognitive impairment, lower mortality rates, and improved well-being.

Practical Applications and Implications

For individuals:

  1. Reflect on daily activities that provide a sense of direction and energy

  2. Engage in dialogue about purpose with peers and colleagues

  3. Focus on building a sense of purpose rather than defining a single, grand purpose

For organizations:

  1. Foster environments where employees can discuss and explore purpose

  2. Break down organizational purpose into specific, actionable activities

  3. Allow for individual interpretation and alignment with organizational purpose

Hill emphasizes the importance of dialogue in exploring purpose:

"The most important thing for the purpose anxiety is having the scaffolding and the social connections along the way to help you explore."

Conclusion

Patrick Hill's research offers a refreshing and practical approach to understanding purpose in our lives and work. By reframing purpose as something adaptable, accessible, and actionable, Hill provides a pathway for individuals and organizations to cultivate meaningful engagement without the anxiety often associated with grand purpose statements.

As we navigate the complexities of modern work life, this nuanced understanding of purpose can help foster environments where individuals can thrive, find direction, and contribute meaningfully - not just to their organizations but to their own sense of fulfillment and well-being.

Resources for Further Exploration